Love is officially dead!
My whole celebrity world is crumbling. First Ben and Jen, then Miranda and Blake, Gwen and Gavin, and even Reba and Narvel!!! Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse…cue the dramatic music…Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog announced today that they too are over!
I’m not going to lie, this one hurts the most!!! My childhood is ruined! I was at their wedding. I can remember every detail.
Everyone was in attendance, a real whose who of the Muppet world. Burt and Ernie, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Gonzo, Rolph, and even those weird little rats that skated on butter, just to name a few. This may have been the first time I had ever seen Sesame Street and The Muppets all in the same room!
The church was gorgeous, all in white. An all penguin choir brought the happy couple down the aisle. As the church doors opened, the entire audience turned to look upon the lovebirds. There was mysterious white smoke that created a dream-like effect!
As we all gazed down the aisle, there stood Kermie, looking as handsome as ever in his tuxedo. Miss Piggy was flawless in all white with a veil that trumps Kim Kardashian’s stupid head-piece. I can’t forget the train!!! It completely covered aisle. Uggg, I can feel the tears coming as I picture them singing to one another all the way down the isle. And then all their friends and family started singing with them! It’s the wedding every little girl wants!!!
Once the couple says “I do” the crowd goes wild! White doves are released in the air. Hats are thrown. Everyone is unbelievable happy!!! Miss Piggy and Kermie ride off into the night sky on the moon! It was the perfect “happily ever after” moment.
And just like that, after 31 years of marriage, it’s all over.
It’s not clear why exactly the two are calling it quits after all these years, but it does seem a little strange that the two have differing stories.
In an official statement, Miss Piggy said,
“After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Kermit the Frog and moi have made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship,” Miss Piggy said on her official Facebook page. “We will continue to work together on television (“The Muppets”/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter… unless we get the right offer. Thank you for your understanding.”
Kermit also released a statement,
“After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship.”
I won’t lie, Kermit never really seemed 100% into the relationship, so maybe this is a good thing. Even at their wedding, he took a long dramatic pause before saying “I do”! Besides, can you imagine what their kids would have looked like??? Not good! Not good!
